Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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