So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize