Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
