So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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