My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
