I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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