Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
