I wish I only lived at night.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
