She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize