Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
