Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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