so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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