The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
