I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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