he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
