I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize