You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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