I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
