like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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