Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
