I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
