the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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