I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
