**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
