Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
