Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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