i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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