Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
