Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize