The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ugly people sure do ruin things
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
