Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
