i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His hands were made for my vagina.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just pee around me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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