I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
