A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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