Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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