So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
