I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize