I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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