Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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