You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
