He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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