im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
