its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
