does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
