Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
