how can u be prego again
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no you cant smoke seaweed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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