forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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