all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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