What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize