Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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