Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
