Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
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No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
jump out the window naked night went bad
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