the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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