i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
