whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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