Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
