I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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