I wish I could teleport
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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