If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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