It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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