All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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