Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
