I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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