i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
