is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
