So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
