And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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