I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
