I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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