i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
