He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
