Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
