508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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