i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize