plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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