1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
