do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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