Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
