i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
